Ten Bulls 3. Perceiving the Bull

Ten Bull 3 Percieving the Bull

Perhaps we want to analyse this bull experience, reflect on it and understand.

As we reflect we move past this first experience of the bull, and into thought: experiencing the experience.

We see the bull, then lose it in thought.

The bull is gone! All that is left is our thinking about the bull.

The bellow of the bull is in the body. We must learn to stay attentive to this first experience.

As practice goes on we learn not to lose the bellow: the first experience of stubbornness, of greed, of pain, of anger – whatever it might be. We feel the intensity of these in the body.

The bull snorts, ‘flares up’, and we stay with the experience, aware of it even for just a second.

This is hard: to experience it and not to forget it in thought. This is what awareness is.

Slowly, we learn to carry this cross of first experience.

Your cross is not my cross, your bull is not my bull.

When we fall to our knees, Jesus falls with us.

The bull is I, ego. Its flaring is wounded passion, energy misdirected, longing become desire: the roots of egoism.

The bull has been our shield, our defence; lashing out and then hiding, running amuck then vanishing.

One foot meditation, one foot awareness.

About Andrew

I am journeying through life practicing a Christian spirituality. I am also an Oblate of the World Community for Christian Meditation. View all posts by Andrew

2 responses to “Ten Bulls 3. Perceiving the Bull

  • Talya

    My bull flares up in the hot weather as if the heat of the day is feeding the heat of my anger.
    But that is me thinking about it! The experience of it is just horrible, like burning myself. Too quick, too caught up in it. My best thing to do is leave the situation immediately until I calm down and then when I am cool, go back and apologise!

    Like

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